June 2009
Harnessing
the Tremendous
Power of Relationships
This month I attended the Reunion of my 8th grade graduation at St. Ann's
Grade School in Kansas City. It's the only time we've had a reunion, and
occurred close to the 40th anniversary of our graduation.
Although 2 of my best friends, with whom I'm in contact
regularly, were there, I hadn't seen others, literally, in 40 years. I
hadn't visited Kansas City since 2003, so I also reconnected with high
school friends, and others I regularly visit when I'm there.
This quick trip reinforced in a very personal way something I've always
recognized...the tremendous power and richness of relationships.
It reminded me that although I don't have family ties to Kansas City, which
is why I hadn't been there since my Mom died in 2003, I need to make a
special effort to get there more often.
What does this have to do with leadership? Everything, because I'm convinced
that relationships are at the heart of everything we do in the leadership
world. And just as the richness of relationships makes life worth living,
that richness also makes work worth working.
No matter which area of leadership or business we look at, we find the need
to effectively manage our relationships. After all, what is leadership
itself but the ability to manage the relationships of those you lead?
And so many of the leadership problems I encounter involve relationships.
Several years ago when I was consulting in a large
manufacturing operation, I found that almost all of the
problems between its departments could be traced to
relationships. Usually the problems were that department managers weren't
addressing conflicts with their counterparts.
Getting department heads to talk to each other about the conflicts was the
solution to most of their disputes. Once they were able to discuss these
conflicts in constructive ways, the problems either went away altogether or
were diminished significantly.
And conflict resolution is an important skill in managing
relationships.
Or take sales. It's all about relationships. I've written before about the
importance of staying close to the customer, but that's just another way of
saying you need to nurture your relationships with customers. And that
requires communication.
Once you've made the sale, you need to invest time in
maintaining and nurturing the relationship, and this applies to both
external and internal customers.
Want to turn prospects into customers? Spend some time getting to know those
prospects better. Want to be more effective as a leader of your company,
your department or division, or your team? Get to know those people better.
Look at your most difficult relationships, the ones that cause you the most
headaches. Spend more time with those people, getting to know their wants,
their dislikes, their personal lives. It will strengthen the relationship,
and make it easier to resolve your differences.
Which is better to nurture and maintain a relationship, sending an email or
talking on the phone, or better yet, talking in person?
I guess we could have had a virtual reunion on the internet, but then how
would I have gotten a photograph of me with Michele Murphy, my 8th grade
"girlfriend"? No, you had to be there.
You can't improve relationships without being there.
Until next edition, keep leading the way!
Copyright (C) 2009 by Terry Wall
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