Reprinted with permission by First-Rate Customer Service Would you like to improve your optimism, so that you can be more effective with customers, bosses, and coworkers? All you need is an understanding of how negative thoughts affect you, and how to change those negative thoughts. It's as simple as A-B-C: Adversity causes us to think negative thoughts. Those thoughts turn into Beliefs. Those beliefs have Consequences. Let me give a real life example. Before work, a customer service representative's fifteen-year-old son told her that she was an awful mother, and that he hated her. This really upset the woman, who thought about it all the way to work. She thought, He's probably right -- I am an awful mother. At work, she found it difficult to be pleasant to her customers on the telephone. The Adversity (her son saying hurtful things) hardened her thoughts into Beliefs ("I'm an awful mother"), which led to Consequences (not being pleasant to her customers). How do we change this situation? The key is to change our beliefs, because changing beliefs changes the consequences. You do this by "arguing with yourself" about four areas: Alternatives Are there alternative explanations for the adversity, and for the negative reaction? In talking to this woman, I found that their family life had been shattered four months earlier by her husband's (the boy's father's) sudden death. It had been an emotional struggle for her and the boy, and they were still coming to grips with their grief. Even without these tragic circumstances, fifteen-year-old boys frequently say such things as part of the usual difficulties of adolescence. So, there are several alternative explanations for the boy's remarks. Implications What are the implications of the beliefs if they are true? Suppose the woman, due to her husband's death, had been an awful mother for the past four months. Did that necessarily mean she could never change back to being a good mother? That she could never make up for that? Does it totally wipe out the past fifteen years? The answer to each question is a resounding "No!" Usefulness How useful is it to sort this out in your mind right now? The start of the workday is probably the least useful time to dwell on this. Quiet moments at home, or talking with friends, are examples of more useful times for this. Using the A-B-C approach, and the "argue with yourself" method, helped this woman to see that her negative thoughts weren't justified, and helped her feel better about herself. This increased optimism let her be more effective with her customers. It can work for you, too. Try it, and I'm sure you'll find increased optimism, and fewer problems with customers, coworkers, and loved ones.
|
Member Institute of Management Consultants |
 |
Member National Speakers Association |
| The CMC designation (Certified Management Consultant) is awarded by the Institute of Management Consultants, and represents evidence of the highest standards of consulting and adherence to the ethical canons of the profession. Fewer than 1% of all consultants have achieved this level of performance. | ||
6 Emerson Lane, Washington Township, NJ 08080
856-218-7200 · terry@tgwall.com
All Rights Reserved